Ep. 4 Lyrical Lesson – How to Forgive & Be Forgiven

Lauryn Hill was the artist of my adolescence. Exposure to her music provided a model of the depth, beauty, and creativity of African-American women. It was a brick in the foundation of understanding who I am and my value as a believer birthed in brown skin. She also gave voice to some of my perceptions and feelings, which confirmed my experiences were not a figment of my imagination or inconsequential. Her voice inspired me to find my own.  I will always be sincerely grateful.

Lauryn Hill – Forgive Them Father

 

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Ep. 4 Resources – How to Forgive & Be Forgiven

*H.U.E Podcast does not necessarily endorse the views of the resources below

  • Corrie Ten Boom – http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/questionofgod/voices/boom.html,  https://www.amazon.com/Hiding-Place-Triumphant-Story-Corrie/dp/0553256696
  • Psychology Today Article – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-therapy/201303/forgiveness-vs-reconciliation
  • Lecrae Article – http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2017/october-web-only/lecraes-all-things-work-together-is-grace-filled-mic-drop.html
  • Dr. Peter Vogt, LifePoint Church – https://lifepointmn.org/media/
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6 Ways Any Parent or Child can Stop Racism

6 Ways Any Parent or Child can Stop Racism

Have you heard about the Black Panther movie? Black Panther is an upcoming Marvel Comic release that I am excited to see. As I researched the movie I learned about a Go Fund Me campaign that was started to give underprivileged and underserved children in Harlem an opportunity to see the movie. The campaign was started by Frederick Joseph with a goal of raising $10,000 which would go toward purchasing tickets and refreshments for the children and their chaperones. Any donations exceeding the cost would be donated to the Boys and Girls Club of Harlem. Within 10 days the campaign had tripled its original goal with more than 700 people donating[1]. Frederick Joseph said his intent in starting this campaign was to give young people an opportunity to see themselves in a story, and in particular a story that Clarkisha Kent of TheRoot.com writes, “remains socially and culturally relevant because it imagines a world where black people continually triumph over the influences of capitalism, Western imperialism and white supremacy[2].” To this date, Frederick Joseph’s campaign has raised $43,367. The latest update shared that through the generosity of Ellen DeGeneres and her team paying for the entire event, all donations would be given to the Boys and Girls Club of Harlem where a new program will be created that teaches children to critically consume content and create their own stories. The new program will be called the BGC Harlem Storytellers.[3]

So how does this relate to redeeming the race narrative?

I would respond to that question with this question: have you ever wondered why prejudice, discrimination, and the ethnic divides in our society still exist? Studies as recent as 2017 show that millennials, the generation applauded as being “aware” and different than those that went before them, are actually divided on the same ethnic, discrimination, justice and opportunity issues as their parents and other generations before them. When categorized as African-American, Latino, Asian and white these groups showed the same divisions and preferences as polls taken in the past. This reality shows that unity cannot be accomplished via a trend. It can never be popular enough where one generation automatically falls into it. Change does not happen without intentionality.

We wouldn’t assume our children will have a strong foundation of belief in God by chance. There is a reason we follow Proverbs 22:6 in training up our children in the way they should go (The Bible, NASB Translation). There is a reason God said to the Israelites “fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deuteronomy 11:18-19, The Bible, NIV Translation). It is clear that consistent intentionality in teaching children the “way they should go” is essential in building up their identity in Christ. We teach our children who God is so they can know who they are. But sometimes we focus so much on the fact that we are not of the world, that their identity is in Christ, that we forget we are still in the world. The societal issues of this age influence and impact us.

Creating change via children is no small effort or impact, especially when we realize that prejudice is not a biological tendency – it is learned[4]. A research study published in Psychology Today shared that a child’s awareness of race and racial identity is present as early as three years of age[5]. By the tender ages of 3-4 children can already show preferences toward one particular race. The rationale that a child is color blind and will have no bias in choosing friends or in how they treat others perceived as different from themselves is false.[6] Children’s biases occur as a child notices differences in others and recognizes that these differences determine how people are treated. This suggests that children also notice these differences determine how their loved ones (parents, siblings, grandparents, etc.) respond to others; whether it be with nervousness, discomfort, confidence, ease, or even forced comfortability. A child observes difference, creates value judgements, and acts on the judgements they make.

A researcher named Banaji in a study published by the Boston Globe states, “the odds of aging children losing or at the very least lessening their bias against out-group people are only increased… when responsible adults in their lives consciously place their children in a position to see different groups interacting as equals[7]”. “As equals” is a significant element to stress. Often when we bring children to different contexts they see one group of people helping another, or one group that is not in a position to do as much as another. Though it is good to show our children the importance of giving, helping, and kindness, if they only see a particular group in a certain context it is natural for them to believe all people of that group are part of that context. “It is not the fault of the children, Banaji states, that they grow up to see a majority of power and influence concentrated among one race [group]. So if we don’t act in their lives, as they age, to show context to that imbalance, they may continue to believe that one group is better or worse than the other, based on nothing more than color, features, or expressions”[8]. This explains so much of the perpetual division we see between people groups. How are generations able to change their engagement with one another if the preceding generation simply cannot give them the tools to do so? You cannot give what you do not have. If it is difficult or intimidating to speak with others different from you about socio-ethnic issues, let alone maintain healthy, close, equal friendships, how can your child be expected to develop this skill?

It is also important to equip children to deal with prejudice and discrimination. Children are most equipped when they have language and examples to directly address it. The most deconstructive instruction can be to “just ignore it” – ignoring can translate into powerlessness. It is necessary for parents and role models to show examples of how to directly address issues of prejudice and discrimination. It is also significant, per the Black Panther movie campaign example, to surround children with a fair representation of different people. I recognize this is not possible for everyone based on geographic location, etc. But that leads to my next point, you can find examples of role models and achievers who look like your children in the age of the internet. The ultimate question is: are we engaging our children at their appropriate age level regarding general differences and even specific socio-ethnic controversies? Here are some questions that serve as a basic litmus test for discerning our children’s (and our own) depth of understanding on differences and the ability to engage them:

  1. Do our children know that biological races do not exist?
  2. Do they see white as the standard or norm?
  3. Have they been exposed to different faces and cultures (including their own) through teaching tools such as children’s books or shows?
  4. Can they speak comfortably about people’s differences, and their differences from other people, without attempting to downplay or belittle them?
  5. Do they see consistent examples of leaders and world-changers who do and do not look like them?
  6. Most importantly, do they see parents and/or mentors set a positive example by having meaningful, equal interactions with people who are different from them?

We teach our children the Bible, show them examples of living the Christian faith, and surround them with a community of believers (even if that is not all of who they interact with). We do this because we recognize if they do not see models of faith in Christ it will be harder if not impossible for them to walk out their faith in Christ, especially when it is challenged. Why would we not give the same intentionality to teach our children to walk not in uniformity but in unity?

Do you have insights, recommendations, agree or disagree with this podcast? Go to my website: ebonyramquist.com to leave comments and check out the lyrical lessons and additional resources I have provided for you on this topic.

Grace, Peace and Mercy brothers and sisters.

 

[1] http://www.cnn.com/2018/01/10/entertainment/iyw-black-panther-gofundme-trnd/index.html

[2] https://www.theroot.com/wakanda-forever-on-the-importance-of-black-panther-1820459283

[3] https://www.gofundme.com/help-children-see-black-panther

[4] Boston Globe, Racism Learned, James H. Burnett III, June 10th 2012

[5] Bailey-Fakhoury, Chasity. Navigating, Negotiating, and Advocating: Black Mothers, their Young Daughters, and -White Schools. Michigan Family Review, Volume 18, Issue 1, 2014, pp. 57-79

 

[6] Psychology Today,” Are Kids Racist?”, Kristina R. Olson, Ph.D., April 2013

[7] Boston Globe, Racism Learned, James H. Burnett III, June 10th 2012

[8] Boston Globe, Racism Learned, James H. Burnett III, June 10th 2012

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Ep. 2 Resources – Hope… A 4 Letter Word

Resources of HOPE:

*H.U.E Podcast does not necessarily endorse the views of the resources below

  • The Cave of Adullam: Inspired the martial arts school scene in the television show “This Is Us”

https://thecaveofadullam.org/

  • Preemptive Love:

https://preemptivelove.org/

  • Be the Bridge:

https://beabridgebuilder.com/

  • Research local organizations, businesses and education programs that provide opportunities of HOPE
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Hope… A 4 Letter Word

H.U.E PodcastRedeeming the Race Narrative

Heal. Unite. Engage. – Cultivating transformative unity in our homes, circles of influence and churches through informed, Christ-centered, cross-cultural perspectives and actionable faith.

 

H-O-P-E… A 4 Letter Word

HOPE is a four-letter word. It’s risqué and can be spoken with derision or disgust. The difference is that the definition of HOPE is not crude. Webster’s dictionary defines HOPE as a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.  If you study the biblical definition of HOPE the meaning is even more dynamic. There are two parts to the definition:

 

  1. The essence or very nature of a promise (Acts 26:6); An act/action (Acts 26:7); Requires belief in potential or promise (Romans 4:18); Expectancy (Acts 28:20); Produced by character (Romans 5:4); Deliverance (Romans 8:20)
  2. Reliant/based on God (Acts 24:15), Does not disappoint because of the love of God in our hearts through the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5); Wait for it through the Spirit, by faith (Galatians 5:5)

 

 

If HOPE is defined by these two parts then why do we ever develop a love/hate relationship with the word? When I heard about the latest police shooting of an African – American, particularly Philando Castile, I was done with hope. I was bitter. I was finished with the Church and all her good intentions – especially with my white brothers and sisters.

 

You see, when all the events around race had been tearing our nation apart I saw an overwhelming number of responses from BIPOC friends. But in contrast, the vast majority of white friends on my Facebook feed or in personal conversations were painfully quiet, it was like the absence of even white noise – just still.

 

I raged to God and asked, “What’s the point of starting a podcast”? What’s the point of meaningful, constructive conversations when sincere Christians I know, respect, admire, and love are so oblivious or disengaged? The level of disengagement made me question my conviction, what I saw with my own eyes. I thought well maybe things aren’t that bad, or maybe it isn’t wrong, or maybe it isn’t injustice, because if it was injustice surely my friends would say something. I was beyond weary of Christian clichés to address or more accurately dismiss the issues and their impact. Scriptures that were given to comfort felt more like placation. The theology of: “focus on God, it’s ok, it will get better, don’t be mired down by what’s not good, you should always be up and encouraged in the Lord” was disheartening.

 

Maybe you’re coming from a different perspective, where the police shootings, BLM protests, the KKK Charlottesville rally and other issues have come as a shock in their existence and intensity. You had no idea things were so bad and now it seems they can only get worse. Your HOPE has been blindsided.

 

Or maybe you’re the turtle in the shell. Regardless of how these events have impacted you or loved ones you simply can’t engage on any level. There’s no time, energy, or emotion that you have to give, so your HOPE is more of a wish than a belief.

 

Why Does Faith Matter?

But we are called to HOPE. Not because it is good, or the right thing to do, or even a practical way to live peaceably as a society. We are called to HOPE because we know God. HOPE is contingent on the power and love of God. I know it sounds like another cliché when I say it like that, but here’s why I think HOPE that depends on God makes a difference. Here’s how I answer the question: why does faith matter?

 

There is nothing significant about addressing the concept of reconciliation, the reality of white supremacy, and the practice of discrimination through the Christian world lens. The Christian is no different from a person who wants to do good, encourage others to do the right thing, and create change – outside of God. In fact, you could argue that more impactful, practical solutions are offered by non-faith based initiatives through regulations, policies, and laws than through the prayers of good intention that are offered by many Christians. This doesn’t mean that I don’t understand, believe, and know the power of prayer, but those “good intention prayers” ironically (given the power of prayer) are rarely coupled with effective action.

 

At the same time, all of the policies, regulations and laws are not inherently sustainable. They don’t change hearts. They can be reversed. You can look at society and our nation’s laws today and see that. There is no magic bullet in mentoring inner-city youth, or supporting organizations that are fighting systemic poverty, or even in engaging and listening to different perspectives. None of those actions will make us stop holding on to advantages and privileges we are and are not aware of. There is no three-step process that will allow us to completely forgive and trust others, whether they have asked for it or not. There is no salve placed on our eyes that will immediately reveal all of the connotations and complexities that are a part of another person’s experience so we’re inspired to sacrifice our rights and comfort for theirs.

This is why faith is critical. Because we as believers have THE resource to create transformative, sustainable unity – HOPE based on God and in God. As the church we have the calling and capacity to lead not because we know the gospel or even because we’ve responded with affirmation to it. We have the calling and capacity to lead because we’ve given God full permission to shake us to our very core and give substance, evidence, and accountability to our beliefs so we can live like Jesus. Our HOPE for that transformation is reliant on God so we can trust that it will actually happen.

 

What Next?

Instead of catching up with whatever initiative and policy society creates to address the ethnic and historical divisions in our society and putting a Christian twist to it, I want to see the Church lead. To have the leaders and influencers of nations come to us and say, “How do you do it? How do you love and trust each other to the point of sacrifice?”

 

Let me give a real-life example of a situation that has recently given me HOPE. I have a friend who posted on Facebook regarding white evangelicalism and some of the discussions that have been going on recently from leaders within the Christian domain. She had several people from her church respond with interest, surprise, and sincere lack of knowledge about the topic. From these responses she felt led to invite those who were interested to her home for a conversation around the Facebook post, ethnic division, and how the lack of ethnic inclusion impacted their local church. Everyone invited had to be an attender or member invested in their local church and also had to read material before they came. She did not want to be in the position of a lecturer or educator. She also wanted to be sure that those who were coming to discuss solutions and their impacts were coming with a base of knowledge needed to discuss creatively, effectively, and sincerely.

 

She asked me to come as a source of support and I was very excited and honored to do so. I did not know what to expect. Honestly, I would not have been surprised if it was just a small gathering of like-minded church members. However I was amazed at the turnout, those who responded to the post not only came but brought friends. I was also amazed by the preparation of each woman that was there, each had not only taken time to read the required resources but processed through them as well. What came from this meeting was a discussion that provided a variety of views, sincere questions, a sharing of different experiences, and challenges of certain perceptions. It was an opportunity to dialogue respectfully and sincerely. Following the meeting my friend proposed drafting a letter to the leadership of their local church body to inform them of the solutions that had been discussed and resources available to implement the solutions.

 

But as I walked away I thought, “Why am I feeling disappointed?” I quickly realized it was because there was nothing spectacular about the meeting. We didn’t walk away with this one-time, fix-it-all solution that was going to rock the foundation of the Church. There was nothing epic, there was nothing easy, and there were definitely moments of awkward silence. The overall lesson I walked away with is that the process of hoping and thereby acting for change is not sexy – it’s not flashy, it’s not enticing. But when we are called to HOPE because of the God we serve there is no excuse or another option.

 

Who’s With Me?

What is your role? What is your next step as a pastor, a business owner, or like my friend in the above example, as a predominantly stay-at-home mom who is 37 weeks pregnant?

 

Who’s with me?  Not doing anything scares me almost more than change never happening. We don’t have all of the answers, but to look back on this point of history and have done nothing? Have contributed little?

 

That will not be said of me. And may it not be said of you.

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Ep1 Lyrical Lesson – Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?

As I stated in the first episode of the H.U.E Podcast, I believe the Church has the only sustainable, pervasive and thoroughly redemptive solution to the crippling division between ethnic and cultural people groups in our country and the world. Not because we responded positively to the gospel, but because we repeatedly choose to be stripped of whatever hinders us from being like Jesus.

 

Lecrae ft. For King and Country –

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Ep. 1 Resources – Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?

Resources to Get Started:

*H.U.E Podcast does not necessarily endorse the views of the resources below

  • EJI – An excellent place to start with a visual timeline that provides brief summaries of our nation’s ethnically divided history

https://www.eji.org

  • The White Racial Frame by Joe Feagin

https://books.google.com/books/about/The_White_Racial_Frame.html?id=4QJ5Hf3LBTgC

  • Why are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? by Beverly Tatum

https://www.amazon.com/Black-Kids-Sitting-Together-Cafeteria/dp/0465083617

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